Fisting Anal Stretching Prostata Massage Everything you need to know for full fisting without risks and negative effects.
Anal stretching with special dildos (Photo © Domina School)
Anal sexual practices are a taboo for many people – which is understandable, since in everyday life we tend to associate the anal outlet with unpleasant things like stench and dirt. We usually only take care of it when something doesn't work as it should or because discomfort forces us to do so.
Despite that the anus is one of the most sensitive, erogenous zones of the body, precisely because it is so hidden and so taboo. The feelings that can be evoked on him, around him and in him are surprisingly intense and diverse. For example, just the awareness that a sub finds you so enormously attractive that he even enjoys spoiling your asshole with his tongue is in itself already extremely pleasure-enhancing. So it's worth exploring your anus and trying new things.
Conversely, playing with your slave's anus is a good way to make him feel your power over him, and of course it is most effective when he is tied up, defenceless and being anally penetrated by you.
However, even if you prepare, disgusting surprises cannot be completely avoided - the fact that you are embarrassed about this is certainly the biggest obstacle for many before anal play.
Caution: People with intestinal problems, anal fissures, intestinal diseases and previous operations are strongly advised not to use any of the techniques described on this page. Consult your doctor. The advice given here is not a substitute for medical advice.
Finger-deep bowel cleansing is quickly done. But for fisting, the dark orange, deeper areas of the intestine must also be emptied. This is achieved with the anal douche.
Preparation for small penetration:
Before cleaning, the sub listens to his bowel feeling. Has he recently emptied his bowels and is he experienced enough to be sure that nothing will follow? If he feels clean and empty, that's usually enough for games that don't go too deep, such as prostate massage or penetration with a small dildo. He will definitely feel better and more secure if he retreats to the bathroom beforehand, cleans his anus with a little skin cream or gel, slowly inserts his finger as far as it will go and scans the inside for possible residue with a circular motion. If everything feels clean, he is ready for anal play.
If you come across stool residue or still feel insecure, a small anal douche is necessary. All you need to do is inject yourself with a small pump ball (see picture below). You can sit on the toilet for the whole process.
- Fill the pump ball with approx. 1dl of lukewarm water.
- Coat the tip with a little lubricant, insert it into the anus and slowly squeeze the pump so that you can feel the water jet slowly begin to fill the rectum.
- Leave in for about 30 seconds, stand up, tense the pomus muscle and sphincter muscle a few times, then sit down again and spray the water into the toilet.
- You may repeat the process with this amount of water until you feel clean.
Too much water reaching too deeply into the intestine can be counterproductive in this case and loosen faeces from the upper part of the intestine and flush them down. It can then take quite a long time for the rectum to become clean again because material is constantly coming in.
Preparation for deep penetration:
For big dildos and fisting it needs more safety, because in the deeper area of the bowel there can be stool that you don't even feel yet, but which then moves towards the exit with the activity of the penetration. It is therefore necessary to fill the bowel really well with a large water syringe or with a shower attachment.
- Let the water run at hand temperature.
- For sitting on the toilet, the syringes are definitely too big to insert. With the shower attachment, it depends on the situation and the length of the attachment. Usually, however, the tip is inserted while standing, the bowel is also filled while standing, and then the patient sits down to be injected.
- In any case, the water must be retained with the tension of the anus and must not flow out when the pressure increases. If you relax and let the water flow out all the time, the pressure will be too low to fill the bowel deep enough.
- The water pressure must not be set too high. If you reach your limit within less than 30 seconds, the water is set too high. It must flow in slowly and the pressure should slowly build up noticeably from the bottom to the top.
- It must NEVER hurt or sting. You only feel the pressure, at most up to a point comparable to satiety after a very rich meal. You must never overdo this, but always consciously do too little rather than too much.
- It is better to repeat the process several times than to do too much too fast at once. You have to take your time.
- The water stays in for at least 30 seconds while you repeatedly tense your buttocks and anus muscles and stretch your upper body.
- Then sit on the toilet and spray out the water. Repeat the process until the water is clearly less brown. It doesn't have to be completely clear and usually won't be.
Prostate massage and forced desemination
Start anal play with light tickling between the buttocks and slowly move towards the "asshole". With stroking, tickling, scratching and even pinching around and at the anus, create lots of interesting sensations before slowly working your way to the hole with a little lube or olive oil on your finger. The anus itself can be massaged with circular, prodding movements, penetrating deeper and deeper with the fingertip.
Whether you wear gloves or not is up to you. If you have long fingernails, gloves are definitely appropriate. If the nails are not too long or edged and sharp, you can use very thin latex gloves. If the nails are longer and dangerous, thick rubber or latex gloves must be used.
Many men have their first anal experience with a prostate massage. In fact, for beginners, even inserting a finger can be a little painful. This is mainly because he tenses up. Command your sub to lightly press the air into the abdomen and push the anus outwards, as if having a bowel movement. Instinctively, on penetration he usually does the opposite and pulls it in, causing the anus and rectum to contract.
When you have inserted the index finger all the way, press the fingertip towards the penis and testicles. Here you should feel a cushion-like tissue of skin. It may feel a little rougher, but it will definitely feel like a gentle bump. Underneath is the prostate gland and by pressing or rubbing it with varying intensity, you will trigger sensations that can go all the way to the tip of the penis. The sub also feels something similar to the urge to urinate.
If the stretching allows it, you can now (or in a subsequent session) try to insert the middle finger and then massage the prostate more intensively with both fingers together or alternately. With a little practice, this massage can possibly trigger ejaculation in some men. However, similar to the G-spot in women, this does not work for all men.
More often, however, the semen simply flows out without any contraction of the dorsal muscle. This technique is called Forced Desemination. By making strong stroking movements over the prostate, possibly also simultaneously inside and outside, from below towards the penis and then along the penis of the urethra to the tip of the penis, you press out the seminal fluid.
Since emptying is induced without the feeling of satisfaction (there is no "squirting", no ejaculation), this is a degrading treatment of the sub and can be used as a punishment, for example. The session does not have a happy ending for him. Also in the context of Chastity you as a dominatrix can thus empty the sub without releasing the penis from its cage and maintain sexual abstinence. Under certain circumstances, this even promotes more sperm production.
Normally, however, you bring the sub to a very intense climax with a combination of penis and prostate massage. The massage with pulse-like pressure on the prostate increases the autonomic pulse-like contractions of the muscles around the prostate during orgasm, which can deepen and prolong the sensation. Forced desemination can then be an additional option if further orgasms are not possible due to a lack of pleasure.
Anal stretching
Once you have reached the point where you can try to insert three fingers, the focus is now specifically on anal stretching and no longer on prostate massage.
Clarification: Often unprepared clients come with the wish for a fisting and think they can do it right away in a first session. It is important to first educate the sub. Explain to him that the stretching process must be done with care and will take several weeks, often 2 or more months. The reason for this is to prevent fissures. Of course, within 2 to 3 sessions, depending on the size of your hand, with a lot of pressure and the help of Poppers (gaseous drug with vasodilator effect) a fisting can be achieved, but because the stretching of the anus cannot adapt as quickly, there is a high risk that the skin will tear. An anal fissure is difficult to heal and will always break open during anal sex. Wounds around the anus are generally very problematic because of the constant risk of contamination by faecal bacteria. Therefore, it is important to take your time and not apply too much pressure when inserting your fingers.
The stretching process must be done carefully and during a few weeks.
Hand protection: Fisting is also an experience for you, of which you naturally feel the most with direct skin contact. If you want to avoid direct skin contact, it is best to use very thin nitrile or latex gloves. If you use oil, remember that it can damage latex. Gloves also protect the sub from your nails if you do not wear them very short. For longer and sharp nails, be sure to use the thicker rubber or latex gloves. Often sex workers simply use a condom that is put over the whole hand. The disadvantage is that you can hardly move your fingers separately and are therefore very limited in stimulating different sensations.
Position: The sub can be positioned on the bed or a lounger on his back with his legs bent upwards. This is particularly interesting when the legs are tied upwards, allowing the sub to relax better. Of course, a gynaecological chair is ideal for this position. But the position on all fours with the face down is also suitable. Determine the position based on what is most comfortable for you.
Penetration: After penetration with two fingers works well, now take your three middle fingers and place them close together and on top of each other. Using a lot of gel or oil (olive oil, see under 'Care'), penetrate with your fingertips. Move in and out slightly and then try to penetrate deeper and deeper. Also try spreading the fingers. When after a few sessions the three fingers go all the way in, try adding the little finger. Now you are already approaching the biggest hurdle, namely the insertion up to the metacarpus above the knuckles. This will take a few weeks, during which you will ideally do 2 sessions a week. After the metacarpus is done, you can add the thumb, forming what we call the "Silent Duck".
Pressure: Without the pressure of the hand when penetrating the anus, the stretching does not progress. There is pain associated with this, but it is well tolerated with simultaneous arousal, and can even increase the arousal. So that you can concentrate on the stretching, command the sub to masturbate lightly, for the time being without permission to come. Be sure to encourage the sub to use the safeword early on to stop your treatment as soon as he reaches his limit. There should be no stinging or burning sensation. The traffic light system (red for 'stop', yellow for 'okay but no more', green for 'more') helps you as input. You must never use your full strength. You can also tell when it is too much by the pressure on your fingers; namely, as soon as it becomes uncomfortable and exhausting for you because your fingers are squeezed together too much.
Aids: For variety or to relieve your hand, you can also work with specialised anal stretching tools. However, these are especially useful if your client cannot afford all the sessions that are needed for full stretching. Then give him homework. For example, have him get a specific stretching dildo and practice with it at home until he makes it to the first stage before he is allowed to come in for the next session.
- Inflatable anal plugs are often recommended. However, you will find that they are not suitable for the anal ring muscle, because the ball always stretches where it meets less resistance. After slightly stretching the anus, the ball is then only inflated either outside the anus or behind the anus in the rectum - depending on where the ball has more surface area.
- Butt plugs or monster dildos with several increasing levels are better suited. This way you can set specific goals and use anal stretching as part of education and punishment, or as mentioned before, as homework.
- Spreading tools are available in various designs made of metal, which suits the clinic scenario very well. The classic vaginal speculum can also be used, but in most versions its edges are too sharp for the anal area. In addition, spreaders that only open on two sides create a limited range of movement. A better choice is the three-fingered spreader, which is very uncomplicated to use. The ring spreader produces the most stretch. Most rings are large enough to fit a fist through it.
The Hung Scyther 3 Stage Butt Plug by Dinoo
A special recommendation: The Hung Scyther butt plug has a particularly fitting shape for anal training. If you make it to the second stage, you are already quite well prepared for fisting with a small to average-sized woman's hand. But what's particularly interesting about this dildo is its oval cross-section. When you twist it after insertion, it feels amazingly similar to twisting a hand. For self-penetration, we recommend to attach the butt plug to a small board so that you can turn it more easily.
You can never beat the intensity of the feeling of the first few fisting sessions.
Fisting
Once the stretching phase is complete, you can move on to full fisting.
It is really worth wearing short nails to be able to perform fisting without gloves - because fisting is also an exciting experience for you. However, very thin nitrile or latex gloves are an acceptable compromise if you want to avoid direct skin contact. You will feel and explore the inside of your sub, have part of your body inside his, in a much more extreme way than it is the case for a man during intercourse. Be aware of this and enjoy it.
1. At the beginning, you will just manage to finally insert the whole stretched hand once, while the fingers are tightly placed on top of each other. Stimulation variations are then:
- Move the fingers inside
- Turn the hand inside
- Spread the fingers
- Spread the fingers and turn the hand
Watch his reactions while you do this and decide whether he is allowed to satisfy himself while you do it or whether you massage his cock with your other hand and when he is allowed to come.
2. Over time, you can extend the stretch by pulling the stretched hand out of the anus and pushing it back in again, first slowly and later more quickly.
3. The ultimate variation at full stretch is then penetrating with your fist. If the anus is loose enough, form your hand into a fist and slowly push it into his ass and slowly pull it out again. Later, increase the speed.
4. Further forms of intensification are penetration with both hands, penetration with the foot or particularly deep penetration up to the elbow. We strongly advise against all of these (see under 'Dangers').
For the sub, the feeling of fisting is one of the most intense there is. Feeling the hand of the adored mistress inside him is already symbolically a strong image. In addition, there is the feeling of being filled, the pressure on the prostate and bladder, the sensitivity of the bowels with sensations ranging from dizziness, pulling, tickling, the urge to empty oneself or to pull everything together. All of this is a strong distraction from the excitement at the tip of the penis, so that it can sometimes happen that he orgasms prematurely without being fully erect.
The problem is now that the intensity of this feeling decreases after a few fisting sessions because the anal area is so adaptable. However, since he really wants to experience it again, he tries to increase the stimulation by using more extreme methods as described under 4. But here we are in the risk area (see under 'Dangers'). The solution to this is not to fist too often after you have reached full stretch. Command the sub to let the anus recover, as this is also important from a health point of view. Do no more than 1 or 2 fistings a month and take a break at least once a year for 3 to 4 months. Otherwise the sub risks complications in the longer term (see under 'Dangers').
Risks are fissures, incontinence and bowel rupture.
Dangers
Rule number 1: Never overdo it. Pain is a friend that tells you when it's too much. That's why the use of drugs like poppers is also strongly discouraged. You feel less pain with them and therefore go beyond your physical limits, which can lead to injuries.
Abort early enough: The sub must be encouraged to stop the action early with the safeword rather than waiting too long.
Prevent fissures: Fisting doesn't happen overnight. Especially anal stretching takes time. Depending on your condition, this can take 2 to 3 months, during which you stretch the anus 2 to 3 times a week by inserting more fingers or thicker dildos each time. If you do this too quickly with too much pressure, it can lead to fissures in the anus, which take a long time to heal and can break open again and again!
Prevent incontinence: After you have reached the goal of full fisting, it is important to hold back a little. Don't fist the sub too often - the anus and bowels are extremely adaptable and the sub quickly gets used to the sensation. Then he wants more and more extreme. But you can never beat the intensity of the feeling of the first few fistings. Take a break. Leave out any anal play for 3 to 4 months. After that, the intensity is higher again. Above all, remember that the anal ring muscle must recover in order to restore its tension. Someone who fists several times a month for years will eventually have to deal with constant incontinence!
Prevent intestinal rupture: Then, in search of extremes, one tends to go deeper. And the next goal, which you've probably seen in porn, would be to insert the foot or insert the arm all the way to the elbow. We STRONGLY advise against both! The risk of intestinal rupture is too great, which in many cases means death. While with hand and finger you have enough flexibility and feeling to adapt to the limits in the intestine, this is not given with the foot. And the arm is also too rigid to adapt to the coils of the intestine, so the intestine gets extremely tugged and stretched. Although it is very adaptable if you slowly feel your way forward over months, this does not protect it from overstretching and structural weakening. Therefore, remember as explained in the previous section: it is worth taking longer breaks in order to increase the intensity again, instead of constantly chasing even more extremes - which will irrevocably end in disaster.
Care
It is not only those who put a lot of strain on their anus anal play who would do well not to just wipe it with toilet paper after defecation - this is something everyone should be advised to do anyway, because the anus is rarely really clean with paper alone. Always use a moist toilet paper at the end, for example with soothing camomile.
In general, olive oil is a good moisturiser and also has a disinfecting and anti-inflammatory effect. Encourage the sub to rub his anus with olive oil more often after fisting. This is also beneficial after cleaning from defecation, for example instead of using damp toilet paper.
Lubricating gel or lubricating cream is primarily intended for vaginal use and requires a certain supply of moisture to remain supple. In the anal area (or also during penis massage) where only little moisture is added, it tends to become sticky over time. Even with "anal lubricant" we notice this. Be sure to use lube generously during anal play and add some water or spit over time. If condoms are not in use, you can also use olive oil or baby oil. Olive oil in particular is very good with its consistency and healing properties. Please remember that latex condoms or latex gloves will be broken down by oil.
With these tips you stay SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual