Femdom and BDSM are just sick perversions? BDSM and femdom are about much more than just pain and fetishes.
Sexual content is met with obstacles everywhere. For example, in social media, where you can hardly publish a picture of nipples without a post being blocked or even your account being blocked or ghosted. The false moral concepts of the Christian church, which have shaped our culture for centuries, are still stuck in the heads of CEOs and CIOs even at high tech companies like Meta, Twitter, Google or ByteDance. Is it any wonder that most people still dismiss BDSM practitioners as perverts or mentally ill?
It's a pity when, during a conversation, the other person conveniently sticks to their ignorant views and there is no willingness to be enlightened. Because BDSM and femdom are about much more than pain and disgust.
Photo: Tom proves his devotion to his adored mistress.
A man who consciously submits to his beloved is first of all expressing his adoration. He wants to serve her and thus make her feel appreciated in the strongest possible way by putting her wishes and needs above his own. He wants to hand himself over to her defencelessly and thus prove his trust in her.
As a servant, the sub is not bound. I call this demonstrative voluntary submission, when a sub, without any coercion, consciously submits to the mistress's will and sometimes also allows himself to be tortured and abused without fighting back, even though he could. His mistress enjoys this openly demonstrated submission and puts it to the test.
But even when a sub is tied up, when he deliberately surrenders himself and puts himself defencelessly into her hands, it is still fundamentally an act of worship with which a sub wants to prove his feelings towards his domme.
In our dominatrix courses we highlight the psychological aspects of the dominatrix/sub relationship.
So BDSM with a submissive man is a highly romantic thing. And such devotion to the adored partner, which goes far beyond what people do for each other in a normal relationship, has not only been known since the aspects of BDSM were put into words. In the Minnesang (Hohe Minne) of the Middle Ages, for example, one often finds the presumably idealised tradition of the knight who is not allowed to have an official relationship with the lady-in-waiting he is protecting because of his rank. Of course, he still falls in love with her, provides her with secret love services as a subordinate and finally gives his life with joy in battle to protect her.
Certainly, a mistress does not have to deal exclusively with naturally inclined submissive men. There are also subs who are just looking for a kick, or who have a very specific fetish that they always have to live out. They are not, or not so much, concerned with their feelings towards the dominatrix, but rather boundaries are crossed and new things are dared. The perversion of the act moves to the centre.
In all cases, however, the definition of perverse is always individual anyway. For some strongly conservative people, it is already perverted to leave the light on during sexual intercourse or to take off their nightgown and not have it under the covers. Many people, even progressive ones, draw the line at anal intercourse.
For practitioners of BDSM, there are no specific acts or techniques that are considered perverted, it is only the context that makes the difference. This means that for us something is only sick and perverted when there is no consent from all participants. So even a role play during which the sub is tied up, raped and beaten bloody is not a perversion as long as the consent of the sub is maintained; this is only no longer given when he breaks off the treatment with the safeword.
BDSM practitioners are mentally ill?
In short, the opposite is usually the case. As a study by Juliet Richters (Sidney 2008) shows, BDSM practitioners are not people with more psychological problems than the average population. On the contrary, this and other studies proves that they are more tolerant and psychologically stable, which is logically understandable because they deal with their sexual inclinations and their psychological and physical limits much more than the average population.